Meaning of a Name

            I was named Nia after my mom's favorite actress at the time, Nia Long. Not only that, but my mom told me that when I was born I was small, so it only made sense to give me a short name. She was originally going to name me Mariah but I guess Nia worked better for her. I remember when I was younger, I learned the meaning of my name from a book about Kwanzaa. Kwanzaa is a fairly new holiday, having been created in 1966 by Maulana Karenga. Nia is the fifth principle of Kwanzaa and means "purpose" in Swahili. The principle of Nia is "To restore African American people to their traditional greatness. To be responsible to Those Who Came Before (our ancestors) and to Those Who Will Follow (our descendants)"(The Seven Principles of Kwanzaa).

          The definition itself defines me because I always feel like I have a purpose in life; I just don't know exactly what it is. This also defines me because if I'm going to do anything, there has to be a reason or purpose for it. If not, then I most likely will not feel like doing it.  The principle also defines not only me but many other African Americans especially in the last couple of years as we learn more about our roots and heritage. Learning about ourselves and where we came from will eventually lead us back to the "greatness" that our ancestors had. 

          The only time I can think of being two is when I think of myself as the third child out of four but the first for many things. Being the third child, not everything thing I do is new or surprising because it has been done before by my older sisters. An example being that I'll be the third child to graduate; I'm just another one of my parents' kids finishing high school. As a middle child, I don't really get that much attention. When my mom's old friends see her, they're most likely to remember her having either my older sisters or my younger one. 

           Despite this, I've been recognized in my family for being the first in some ways. For example, I was the first child to play a sport in school. My sisters weren't involved in their school when they were younger so when I made the team, got good grades, or joined a club/society, it was recognized by everyone. It's one of those situations where when one of us does something good, everyone celebrates as if they were the ones that did the good. The dilemma about this is that everyone, especially my parents, has high expectations that I have to reach. The pressure that comes with trying to reaching those expectations can sometimes take a toll on me mentally and physically.  I'm the type to give myself a hard time when I do something wrong, so having others add on to that is a bit much.       

Citations:
"The Seven Principles of Kwanzaa." Holidays.net. N.p., 21 Dec. 2015. Web. 14 Oct. 2017.

Allah, Sha Be. "Happy Kwanzaa! DAY 5 -- NIA(Purpose)." The Source. N.p., 30 Dec. 2016. Web. 15 Oct. 2017.