Does it really mattress?
#1:Gregory Samsa woke from uneasy dreams one morning to find himself changed into a giant bug.
#2:When Gregor Samsa awoke from troubled dreams one morning he found he had been transformed in his bed into an enormous bug.
#3:As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect.
#4:One morning, upon awakening from agitated dreams, Gregor Samsa found himself, in his bed, transformed into a monstrous vermin.
1) Diction:
"uneasy'- (connotation) uncomfortable;
"changed"- softer connotation compared to transformed.
"giant"- softer connotation; (denotation) "an imaginary or mythical being of human form but superhuman size."
"bug" - "a small insect."
-Imagery/details: not much details about what he looked like as a bug besides the fact that he's huge; we do know what time of day it is: morning.
-Structure: short sentence structure.
-Figurative element: Tone is very blunt and straight-foward compared to the other three translations.
2)Diction:
"troubled"- worrisome
"enormous"- (denotation) very large in size, quantity, or extent.
"transformed"- (connotation): sort of negative; unwillingly changed; (denotation) "make a thorough or dramatic change in the form, appearance, or character of."
-Imagery/detail: we get a little more detail about where he is: in bed;
-Structure: longer than the second but shorter than the third.
3)Diction:
"transformed"- (connotation similar to #2) makes it seem as though someone had inflicted the change on him.
"gigantic" - (denotation)"of very great size or extent; huge or enormous."
"insect"- (denotation) "a small arthropod animal that has six legs and generally one or two pairs of wings."
-Imagery/detail: the word "awoke" gives a visual of Samsa slowly waking up confused.
-Structure: longer than the second but doesn't have any pauses like the last one.
4)Diction:
"agitated"- (connotation) irritated; bothered
"monstrous"- negative connotation; (denotation) "having the ugly or frightening appearance of a monster."
"vermin" - (denotation) "parasitic worms or insects."
-Syntax: many commas; more pauses.
-Imagery/details: an ugly, huge bug on a bed. I think of him being a brown bug.
-Structure: long sentence structure.
The diction, syntax, punctuation, and imagery shift the affect in each meaning from magical and almost comical in the first translation to disgust in the fourth one, especially when describing what Samsa turns into. To me, the first translation is something I would read out of a children's book and the last one is something I would read in a book for young adults. Also, the word choice that Kafka uses to describe how Samsa wakes up shifts in each meaning. In the first one, saying the he "woke from uneasy dreams" makes me think as thought he woke up abruptly, as if he was having a nightmare. In the second and third translations, "awoke" makes me think that Samsa woke up and was either confused or completely out of it. In the last one, the words "upon awakening" makes me think that Samsa woke up and just happen to realize that he was a big bug.
I think in order to tell which one was more effective than the others, we have to decide what classifies a translation as effective. If we were going for a more magical translation, one that might be found in something like a children's book, the first translation would be the most effective. If we were trying to describe Samsa's state as ugly and disgusting, the last translation would be effective. This exercise demonstrates that translating works into other languages can cause the text to lose the author's intention or what exactly the author was trying to convey. Kafka may have been going for a tone of disgust but if the audience were to read the first translation, they would get a more comical/magical feeling. If he were to go with a magical tone, the audience wouldn't get that if they were to read the last translation.
#2:When Gregor Samsa awoke from troubled dreams one morning he found he had been transformed in his bed into an enormous bug.
#3:As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect.
#4:One morning, upon awakening from agitated dreams, Gregor Samsa found himself, in his bed, transformed into a monstrous vermin.
1) Diction:
"uneasy'- (connotation) uncomfortable;
"changed"- softer connotation compared to transformed.
"giant"- softer connotation; (denotation) "an imaginary or mythical being of human form but superhuman size."
"bug" - "a small insect."
-Imagery/details: not much details about what he looked like as a bug besides the fact that he's huge; we do know what time of day it is: morning.
-Structure: short sentence structure.
-Figurative element: Tone is very blunt and straight-foward compared to the other three translations.
"troubled"- worrisome
"enormous"- (denotation) very large in size, quantity, or extent.
"transformed"- (connotation): sort of negative; unwillingly changed; (denotation) "make a thorough or dramatic change in the form, appearance, or character of."
-Imagery/detail: we get a little more detail about where he is: in bed;
-Structure: longer than the second but shorter than the third.
3)Diction:
"transformed"- (connotation similar to #2) makes it seem as though someone had inflicted the change on him.
"gigantic" - (denotation)"of very great size or extent; huge or enormous."
"insect"- (denotation) "a small arthropod animal that has six legs and generally one or two pairs of wings."
-Imagery/detail: the word "awoke" gives a visual of Samsa slowly waking up confused.
-Structure: longer than the second but doesn't have any pauses like the last one.
4)Diction:
"agitated"- (connotation) irritated; bothered
"monstrous"- negative connotation; (denotation) "having the ugly or frightening appearance of a monster."
"vermin" - (denotation) "parasitic worms or insects."
-Syntax: many commas; more pauses.
-Imagery/details: an ugly, huge bug on a bed. I think of him being a brown bug.
-Structure: long sentence structure.
The diction, syntax, punctuation, and imagery shift the affect in each meaning from magical and almost comical in the first translation to disgust in the fourth one, especially when describing what Samsa turns into. To me, the first translation is something I would read out of a children's book and the last one is something I would read in a book for young adults. Also, the word choice that Kafka uses to describe how Samsa wakes up shifts in each meaning. In the first one, saying the he "woke from uneasy dreams" makes me think as thought he woke up abruptly, as if he was having a nightmare. In the second and third translations, "awoke" makes me think that Samsa woke up and was either confused or completely out of it. In the last one, the words "upon awakening" makes me think that Samsa woke up and just happen to realize that he was a big bug.
I think in order to tell which one was more effective than the others, we have to decide what classifies a translation as effective. If we were going for a more magical translation, one that might be found in something like a children's book, the first translation would be the most effective. If we were trying to describe Samsa's state as ugly and disgusting, the last translation would be effective. This exercise demonstrates that translating works into other languages can cause the text to lose the author's intention or what exactly the author was trying to convey. Kafka may have been going for a tone of disgust but if the audience were to read the first translation, they would get a more comical/magical feeling. If he were to go with a magical tone, the audience wouldn't get that if they were to read the last translation.
I enjoyed reading reading your blog post. The white highlighting was quite amusing. A little difficult on the reader but it did require interaction with what was stated. I found that you response to the translations effectiveness was interesting. I think what would make a translation most effective would be its ability to portray what the original intention was by the original author.
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